Purely Worship
I am very shy when it comes to worship, maybe you are the same way. I am am still having problems with this. I know I wrote a while back about those invisible ropes that keep me from raising my hands, and I thought that would help me. I thought that acknowledging the fear would help me change, but it continues. I get the urge, or I feel like I should, but I get scared and ignore the impulse. I get so close and then fear sets in. This has been bugging me a lot recently and I have tried something new, I have tried something radical… for me.
I didn’t go to my church this Sunday, that’s right I was a traitor. I went to a very charismatic church, yep, tongues speakin’, prophecy seein’, dance in the aisle charismatic church. It was different… very different. It wasn’t bad though, it was good. It showed me an awful lot about worship. Their worship was pure, that’s the only way I can put it. They loved the Lord and you could see it, they fell to their knees and prayed, they jumped and clapped. Sure there where those who you had your doubts about whether they were sincere or not, but over all I went away knowing they loved God and loved to worship him. I hoped that this experience would help me. I hoped that it would give me that nudge I needed, maybe if “everyone else was doin’ it” I would do it to. That hope died. I learned something very important while I was there. I learned that worship is not about what everyone else is doing, it’s not even about what I am doing. It is all about what God is doing. God wants to meet me right there in the middle of worship. He may not want me to raise my hands or fall on my knees, maybe he doesn’t want me to dance in the aisle. He wants me to be real with him. If I feel that I should raise my hands I should, not because of me but because of God. I can’t focus on me or anyone else during worship… then it’s not worship. I may not ever raise my hands and that is ok.
I don’t know why it took so long for all this to finally click but I am glad it did.
Lord, I want to worship you purely. I don’t want to focus on anything but you. Help me to worship you like I have never worshiped you before. Thank you for opening my eyes, thank you for working in my heart.
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